Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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