I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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