remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
