Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.