Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize