My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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