It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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