Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize