plz talk dirty to me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Randomize
