I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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