this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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