she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
