escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
