Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
