I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
