so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
