it wasn't lemon gatorade
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
