my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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