yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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