so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
