the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
