I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
