if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
