Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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