Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize