WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
