Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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