the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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