He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your cock deserves a montage
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
