I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
