I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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