I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
