Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
