I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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