lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
