I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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