just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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