I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
