wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
