Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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