and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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