Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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