Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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