You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
