Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
