happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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