i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
