I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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