Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
