I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
