Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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