Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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