i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
