I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
