So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
