Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
