i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
