watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
