I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
