You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
did you just send me my own nude
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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