i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize