My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
