With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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