"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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