Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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