Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
