3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
